Monday, 4 May 2026

That Eurovision Review - 2022 (originally published elsewhere May 2022)

Hello again,

Eurovision 2022, then, the first renewal after I'd become an adoptive parent and time awake enough to be able to watch a major televisual treat such as as this was in relatively short supply.  Managed somehow, though.  

My prediction of a strong showing for some of the Big Five candidates wasn't too wide of the mark, and might have been particularly bountiful but for the politically and emotionally charged Stefania.  I don't remember placing any bets on the without the winner market to that effect, however.  More fool me.

After revisiting In corpore sano, I'll be seeing Konstraka eyeballing me in my sleep again for weeks now.
 
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Semi-Final #1

I didn't expect to be watching any of Eurovision live this year, but rather handily the kids were sound asleep by eight tonight. Daddy loves you both.

Brief thoughts. Moldova, Norway and Denmark were all plenty of fun, and I would happily have seen them all qualify (spoiler alert: not all three did). 

ZDOB ȘI ZDUB & ADVAHOV BROTHERS - Trenulețul

SUBWOOLFER - Give That Wolf a Banana 

REDDI - The Show 

Portugal split the jury in this household.  I loved the wonky piano motif and the subtlety of it, m'learned colleague not so much. 

MARO - Saudade Saudade 

Latvia's was a fine message delivered patronisingly (c.f. Germany last year). 

CITI ZĒNI - Eat Your Salad

Ukraine's installation as tournament favourites makes as much sense on musical as political grounds.  A strong candidate, although might I note I liked France's spooky Breton electro track at least as much? 

KALUSH ORCHESTRA - Stefania 

ALVAN & AHEZ - Fulenn 

Iceland's alt.folk trio might get the odd vote from TOTP wonks who remember their dad in Mezzoforte (they of Garden Party fame, later the mid-1980s BBC horse racing theme tune).

SYSTUR - Með Hækkandi Sól 

More female guitarists tonight (eight) than probably the last decade combined - good. Quite a white line-up all told (apart from the Italian guy in Herr Flick's old coat) compared to the recent past, however - disappointing. 

Rylan's quip about his teeth paying for themselves was far from his only winning one-liner this evening - I'm glad he's back. Can I go to bed now? xx

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Semi-Final #2

So after the feast of the first semi-final, the famine of the second, to my mind one of the least inspiring Eurovision semis for many a long year. It wasn't hard for me to draw parallels with the thin pickings of the 14-runner Hamilton 0-55 handicap I'd just been working on for the Racing Post.

The made-in-Leeds Czech Republic act was enjoyable, bringing the nearest remaining thing to the dancefloor banger that seems to have been expunged from the contest in no time at all. How recently was it that every other song sounded like Avicii? No longer.

WE ARE DOMI - Lights Off 

The incongruously raspy delivery of the Swedish entry was fine by me, too, as were the Georgians - just replace "Circus Mircus" on the promo with "lost Beta Band outtake" to watch BBC 6Music lap it right up.

CORNELIA JAKOBS - Hold Me Closer 

CIRCUS MIRCUS - Lock Me In 

The rest, though... (shrugs). Most were at least competent, with the exception of the Israeli's horrendously out of tune delivery and the Cypriot's anodyne stage presence, each of which got what they deserved.

If anything else may yet grow on me, it might be Serbia's high concept electropop, or as you're probably referring to it right now, that terrifying beautician/nurse with the bowl.

KONSTRAKTA - In Corpore Sano 

If the winner doesn't come from either the first semi or the big five, I'll be amazed.

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